EDITOR’S NOTE: For those of you not in the know, 6NBlog’s 25 Days of Halloween celebration stemmed from us wanting to do something like a “31 Days of Halloween,” but not realizing it until six days later. But fear not, from now until the 31st we’ll be giving you a movie a day to devour. These aren’t all the scariest or best horror flicks we’ve seen, but they’re all 6NBlog worthy for one reason or another. Enjoy.
I’ll admit that I don’t even think I’ve seen this flick all the way through. It was on cable one night maybe five years or so ago and I picked up most of it. Hey, there are rumors that even the best movie critics don’t watch all of the movies they review, and I’m not even a good movie reviewer, so lay off my dick. Basically this baby’s 6NBlog worthy based on the premise alone as well as the execution of the 80′s style death via robots. Who doesn’t enjoy robot killers? I mean there’s The Terminator, the bad robots from Robocop, and uhh…I don’t know…Solo?
image from wikipedia.org
So when director Jim Wynorski, who you may remember him from his work directing The Return of the Swamp Thing (or maybe not), gave us Chopping Mall in 1986, we knew we were in for a treat. Wynorski’s now directing/producing a lot of soft core porno based on popular moves (i.e. The Bare Wench Project, The Da Vinci Coed, and Cleavagefield); who knew we were witnessing greatness in our midst some 23 years ago?
You want some plot? Why, you haven’t guessed how this flick goes already? Basically, a group of horny high schoolers hide in a mall in town in order to have a party and do what they please when the mall closes up for the night. From what I remember one of them works at the store they hide in, or has a father who owns the store, or something. She says a lot of things like “Okay, you can do blow off of the mannequins now, but make sure my dad doesn’t find out!”
It was supposed to be an all-night affair of booze, loud music, and probably fucking around in The Sharper Image. Or maybe fucking…around The Sharper Image. But what they didn’t count on was the mall’s new security guards showing up, who happen to be killer robots that shoot first and ask questions later after they malfunction. As they’re picked off one by one, it’s up to the protagonists (one of them, Tony O’Dell, played Jimmy in The Karate Kid) to stop the robots completely or try to survive the night.
This is basically your basic 80′s horror flick. The characters are cookie-cutter simple, the killers are thought to be unstoppable until they’re promptly stopped by the time the credits roll, etc. People die mid-sex, there’s some blood, and maybe some unintentional comedy along the way. The thing is, these sort of flicks are what makes 25 DOH worth doing. When else are you going to watch a movie like this besides right before Halloween?
Anyways, all in all this is a lot of campy fun to watch, but the flick ultimately sucks (if you couldn’t have guessed). If you’re into shopping, or into robots, or into updating your mall’s security and are looking for robot killers in action, maybe this flick is for you.
The movie’s tagline is: “Where shopping costs you an arm and a leg!” How could you not want to see this?
6NBlog Rating: 7.1
