“Jesus Christ, Dad. Not again.”
Well this story just keeps getting better. For those of you who don’t know, a Wilmington Pop Warner football coach is in trouble for allegedly beating the shit out of the father of one of his players.
According to the Boston Herald, William D. Reynolds, 43, was charged yesterday with aggravated assault and battery stemming from a fist fight he got in with father Michael VonKahle on Friday afternoon.
VonKahle’s son arrived to practice late and Reynolds made him run extra laps, something that pissed daddy off something fierce. The two men exchanged words before going to settle the matter like men in a separate area. Reynolds broke multiple bones inVonKahle’s face, according to the police report.
Says the Herald‘s Edward Mason:
“VonKahle told police he joked to Reynolds, ‘If anybody needs to run laps it should be you, you fat bastard,’ according to a report.
Ten minutes later, Reynolds asked if they could talk, then led VonKahle to some nearby woods, where he repeatedly punched a stunned VonKahle in the face, police report.”
Well that’s just how you fucking get it done, Coach Reynolds. Obviously Mr. VonKahle is the same type of dad who yells from the bleachers about his son’s playing time, complains openly about the playcalling, and shows his son his high school highlight tape and letter jacket before every game. I say he probably got what was coming to him.
When I start my eventual Pop Warner powerhouse/dynasty, there’s only one type of father that I want to deal with. And it’s the type that returns from long business trips just in time for the big game:
