You see, that was condiment humor. Get it? Mayo? Ketchup? I could go on…I dunno.. something like… “The news that Mayo will potentially be out for two months with an MCL sprain left Belichick to MIRACLE WHIP something up on the fly before Sunday’s game against the Jets.” Holy shit, I could write a book of this stuff.
But let’s stop getting all cuddly for a second you fucking animals. This is (albeit old) really horrible news. According to the Herald‘s Ian Rapoport, Mayo was walking through the Pats locker room this morning in a knee brace and crutches, a sign that could possibly mean that this 6-8 week talk could actually be a ninja smokescreen. Can the Patriots D really survive without Mayo for the whole season? Doubtful. Which is why the Patriots are exploring replacement options.
Former Tampa Pro Bowler Derrick Brooks signed with ESPN last week and reportedly would prefer heading to Chicago to take over for the IR’ed Brian Urlacher than to come to New England (automatically placing a curse on his family for the next three generations). In addition, Junior Seau was on WEEI this morning and said that while he’d love to come back, we shouldn’t expect to see him in uniform until December…if at all.
He told Dennis & Callahan:
“If there is any way I can help a team toward the end of the season, I will look at that.” The future Hall of Famer went on to say, “It’s basically if they need me. … They could use me more toward the end than the beginning. … I want to enjoy my life with my kids. … Right now, I am in a good place.”
What a selfish old codger. I mean if you can’t count on a 40-year-old future Hall of Famer, who slapped a Charger organization he played 17 of his 19 storied NFL seasons for in the face by un-retiring on them four days later to come to New England and be a perfect Patriot and a captain for parts of three seasons, who can you count on?
Maybe Belichick has something up his sleeve that we don’t know about. Maybe they’ve been in contact with some other blast from the past that’s just itching to come back. Willie McGinest? Chris Slade? Andy Katzenmoyer? Or…maybe Bill’s just going to play the cards he was dealt. It worked for him last season with a little-quarterback-that-could named Cassell who’s now the main man in Kansas City. But does that necessarily mean that it’s going to go the same way for Belichick when he turns to Pierre Woods to pick up the slack? Or Gary Guyton? Or Tully Banta-Cain?
I guess we’ll see Sunday afternoon in the Dirty Jerz.
